My eyes glaze over when these "jersey" types (as opposed to "sweater" types) start on about "faceoff percentages" "take-aways" and "possession time" in hockey. Get ready for the new Americanized game we used to know and love. Every moment, gesture and mistake is explained with statistics, analysis and American genius.
Got two guys on your telecast or radio broadcast? Why not have six?
Show us replays, slo-mo replays, replays from other games, live action from other games, games last week, games in Russia, a card game at the diner? ADHD. Slo mo replay of Jennifer Tilly popping her top blouse button (dangerous).
Hockey used to be exciting.
Now since the Roger Neilson-ization and Americanization it's been reduced to a statistical exercise and rehashing contest between flapping jaw "experts."
I LONG for the '60's and '70's when the Canadiens played "French CANADIAN Firewagon Hockey" and no one had to fly in Mike Milbury for his 'bon mots' or washed up mediocre goalies galore who shall remain nameless because they deserve obscurity rather than the constant never-ending limelight. I'm going to beat you to death with your mic you...
Pierre Gauthier continues Boob Gainey's Euro-smurf campaign.
Agony, they name is la trappe.
The Saviour Carey Price went three years between playoff wins at home, Jaroslav Halak is demonized in Canadiens chat rooms and we're this close to bringing the Stanley Cup home.
"Rebuilding since 1979."
That feels better.
No comments:
Post a Comment